Once upon a time in Louisiana

I found myself half wasted late at night
I was drinking heavily with Jesus
Talking about impacts of his life

Tell me, tell me Jesus
Tell me, tell me more
Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life such a bitch?
Jesus looked at me kinda weird
I saw silver tears in his eyes
Cracking jokes & laughing through his beard
Drinking from a bottle fine red wine


Jesus had a shot of Jose Cuervo
Then we had some whiskey on the rocks
Then we started dancing like two maniacs
Then he said to me:
JESUS. You are a drunk.
WITNESSES. Yeah...
JESUS. You are a loser.
WITNESSES. Yeah...
JESUS. You are a womanizer.
WITNESSES. Yeah...
JESUS & WITNESSES (Raise glasses). Hallelujah!

Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life such a bitch?